So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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