i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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