whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Randomize
