Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Randomize
