Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
