is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
