You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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