Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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