it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
