I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
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