Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
