Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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