An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
