He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
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