just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
The struggles of a small town man whore
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
