Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
