She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Randomize