end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I wish you could order shots online.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
