Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
