how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
