I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
