I looked at my own cervix.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
