Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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