it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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