i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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