i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Randomize
