my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
