hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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