I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
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