In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
My brain says no but my pants say off.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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