Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
