If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
