i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Houston, we have a blender
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
