He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
