i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
