I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
this boner is exhausting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
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