im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Randomize
