Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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