you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
