You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
So much rum. So many feels.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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