Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
