im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
