I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
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