This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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