i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
