I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
We're not piercing ourselves today.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Randomize
