Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
