I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
