I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
if only i could text you this smell
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize