If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
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