The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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