why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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