Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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