mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
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