can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
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would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
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i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
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