I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
