Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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