Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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