so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
