you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
