this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Why did my mother make you get naked?
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
